- You’ll most likely develop insomnia…or just a REALLY messed up sleeping schedule.
- Lots of men are liars and will do/buy you anything to get in your pants with absolutely no intention of developing a relationship with you.
- Lots of women will say/do anything to get you to buy them things and will leave once they find a richer man. Gold diggers are bountiful.
- Women will “sleep their way to the top”. Men will find their way into your pants with “promises of great opportunities and bribery”….how charming.
- You’re lucky if you find a group of REAL friends….and if you do, you’ll have 6 superficial/fake friends for every 1 real friend you have.
- You’ll hate driving on the 5 freeway between the hours of 3-7 with an almost unspeakable hatred.
- You’ll end up smoking a cigarette for the first time…or just pick up smoking all together.
- Sleeping medication will be your best friend.
- Everyones slept with everyone. Its a cess pool of condoms, sweat, shame, and gossip.
- Gossip entertains the people in this city.
- The beautiful people stick together to bask in eachother’s vanity while secretly hating eachother and/or talking about one another behind their backs.
- Make up, eyelashes, contact lenses, hair extensions, fake tans, fake nails, boob jobs, nose jobs, tattoos, and piercings….Artificial is beautiful here.
- You’ll experiment with drugs. Get used to seeing a LOT of drugs…a RIDICULOUS amount…
- Your sex life is not as exciting as the rumors make it sound…damn.
- Everyone knows someone who does something awesome who actually doesnt at all and just says they do.
- A guy will date a girl for a long time or keep them around just because they make eachother look good. Girls do it too.
- Getting pregnant is social suicide and MUST be kept hidden as long as possible if you want to remain in the “LA circle”.
- Average length of a romantic relationship with a gogo dancer/model/club promotor = 2 months.
- Everyone is going to ask you for SOMETHING ALL the time if you are the “manager” or “head” of something.
- You’re going to get roped into the sex and drugs scene for a few years. Lets keep it at a respectable “few” years and not an embarrassing “too many” years.
- Eventually, you’ll start appreciating the quiet nights at home.
- You can choose to wake up with someone random every morning, someone you care about, or alone. I’ve decided on the latter two.
- Go ahead and make up a nickname/alias for yourself. Everyones doing it. Be cool and do it too.
- Its a VERY small crowd and bridges will be burned. Dont get caught in the fire.
- Careful who you open up to. Some actually care…the rest are just curious
- Everyone pretends they like eachother. Its almost ridiculous how good they are at it.
- Sometimes you just have to be cold, heartless, and opportunistic to make yourself happy.
- You’ll have moments of weakness, understandable. Pick yourself up and carry on.
- When you find someone truthful and faithful….Keep them and appreciate them. Its hard to come around in this city.
Through it all, I still try not to become another cold and heartless casualty of this city…I also try to be more realistic but the Norcal suburbs side of me still keeps me a bit idealistic and somewhat naive…Always stay lovin…
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Living the Los Angeles Night Life
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